First off, I will say, I had probably heard the term enlightenment before but I didn't really understand what it meant and, therefore, had no interest in it. I didn't know much about other religions or mediation, etc. I associated with the Christian faith in a nondenominational way; however, I haven't stepped foot in a church for at least 20 years. I did, however, pray every day before bed. So what I'm trying to relay is I knew absolutely nothing about any of this stuff.
I had always felt very blessed in my life, was very successful in my career, had great health, etc. Life was great. However, five years ago I hit a very turbulent time...end of a 17-year relationship, rape/beating, and then a terrible boating accident that left me with a broken forehead, smashed nose, broken cheek, broken upper jaw that was driven into my nasal cavity, an upper lip that was hanging on by a thread, and a big chunk out of my lower lip. I was knocked out. Somebody got a life jacket on me. I learned later the boat sank in three minutes.
As an aside, there was a brief mention in the book something about the power of the mind in healing. I will say, my friends were all concerned with me looking in the mirror during my healing and thought they should cover up the mirrors so as not to upset me. I can honestly say, I always thought Why? I knew in my mind and heart wholeheartedly that I would heal and be perfectly fine. I never doubted it for a second. Less than three years have passed since the accident and nobody is the wiser. Between the bottom of my nose and the bottom of my lip, I had three hours worth of stitches. I heart countless times during my recovery from my various doctors, Wow, you are an awesome healer and no doubt, you have a guardian angel.
After healing, when I should have been extremely happy, I hit a period where I didn't feel like I looked at the world the same...to be honest, bitterness and cynicism of the world had crept in. My "heart" didn't feel comfortable with that. I had always been a lover of my fellow man and I knew I needed to bring that part of me back as I honestly didn't feel like myself.
So I started reading books on forgiveness and healing after trauma and healing your heart. And I spent countless hours just contemplating life, contemplating why am I here, what gifts was I given that needed to be nurtured and shared with the world. It was a long period of self-discovery, I guess you could say. I also pondered my weaknesses as a human being. It was grueling. There were a lot of tears shed. I didn't meditate or practice any form of ritual...again, I didn't know anything about those things. But after reading this book, it is clear I was in the daydreaming state and just tossing things around in my head and and contemplating and reflecting on things very deeply. This lasted for about two years and I felt great at the end of it and back to my true nature.
A few months later, I experienced another traumatic incident. I felt utterly defeated and abandoned by God. One day I googled something along the lines of "Bible verses when you feel abandoned by God" trying to see if I could get some solace and relief by reading some scripture. The google search lead me to realize what I was experienceing was known as an existential crisis or Dark Knight of the Soul. Yes, the end of a long-term marriage, the rape/beating, and the accident were bad, but that all paled in comparison to what I was experiencing with the existential crisis. It was the most horrifying feeling I had ever felt.
The worst of it lasted about two and a half, three months. It was almost debilitating. I was still able to do my job, but I was just existing, not really participating in life. By this time, I had read some articles online about spiritual awakening and knew that is what I was experiencing. the articles talked about it being life-changing, but at that point I didn't understand and couldn't see how this dark period could be so transformational. Heck, I felt utterly miserable.
One day I woke up and felt such a peace, joy, serenity, gratitude, love permeating my body. It was an amazing feeling, indescribable. I remember calling a close friend who had been watching this all unfold over the last couple years and tried to describe what I was feeling. I told him I thought I was coming out of the crisis. I was absolutely elated. Unfortunately, it only lasted four, five hours. But over the next few months, I would experience it again a handful of times. About two months ago, my friend who has been watching this unfold and who I am confiding honestly about everything I was experiencing, called me on his way to work to see how I was feeling. Well, I was still awake. I hadn't gone to sleep yet. I was in the euphoric state. No words for it. I was sitting on the porch just what I would call daydreaming when he called. I had been sitting out there since 9:00 the night before not really doing anything, just enjoying what I was feeling. It was so otherworldly.
So three weeks ago, I wake up and I'm in the euphoric state but there is a very strong what I would call energy in my body. It is very strong. Although I had never experimented with drugs, I kept thinking I am on the best drug ever imaginable. I felt connected with God. This lasted for three days. Amazing doesn't even describe it. The weird thing was, by the end of the three days, my physical body felt utterly exhausted, but what I call the energy was off the charts. By the end, it was almost unbearable. It was too much. The book had one sentence about people being diagnosed as manic during this time. I wasn't hearing voices or seeing light or anything, but I imagine I could have been diagnosed as manic.
There is something really freaky that happened when I was in the unbearably high energy level. Something that is so unreal. I guessed three things out of 22 that I absolutely would never have known. It was boom, boom, boom, one right after another. I called my friend and explained what happened, and we were both absolutely shocked. Honestly, I would need a statistician to figure out the odds of what happened. It was absolutely unreal. Was it because I was in a higher state of consciousness or what? Was it coincidence? I have absolutely no idea.
So three weeks later, I feel very peaceful and content. I don't get rattled much. I will say, though, there's been a few times I have trouble relating to people. As an example, I was out to dinner with a friend at a very nice restaurant. She started complaining about her baked potato and how grainy it was. She had me taste it and it tasted fine to me. She knew many of the waitstaff, and everybody who would come by, she would stop them and go on and on about this potato. They even sent the chef out. Good grief. This lasted for about 45 minutes. By this time, I say, Can we just stop with the potato? I think the homeless man we passed coming in would be absolutely thrilled with this potato. So I have trouble with pettiness and things that I consider menial things to be complaining about.
So I found an article written about Dr. Newberg's studies and purchased this book last night. I read three-quarters of it last night and finished it up early this morning. Now it is fully clear what I experienced. Definitely the Big E!
I did find a liscensed counselor who has a depth of understanding of these experiences and met with him last week. Since I didn't know much about any of this stuff, after those three days, I was trying to make sense of everything. Was something wrong with me? There's no doubt in my mind what I experienced was absolutely real, but what did it all mean? After devouring this book, I have a much better understanding of what happened. I've been blessed.
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Principais avaliações de outros países
Julie Lyle
Wow! The first book that explained neuroscientifically what I experienced!
Avaliado nos Estados Unidos em 3 de agosto de 2019Jim H. White
A Must Read for spiritual readers
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Gem in scientific spiritualism
Avaliado na Índia em 9 de abril de 2017